WHY WORK WITH ME?
I'm friendly and I care. I know it can be nerve-wracking seeking out this type of therapy so I aim to put my clients at ease quickly. I've successfully worked with individuals and couples of all ages, backgrounds, sexualities and neurodiversities.
I'm practical and goal-orientated. A lot of what we do is investigative: digging into what's happening and why. I might suggest tests, exercises or interventions, or help you uncover any psychological reasons contributing to the issue, "joining the dots" as one client used to say. Maybe there's nothing to "fix", so it's about working on understanding, self-acceptance, peace.
I get it. I'm neurodivergent and non-monogamous myself, both of which I've only acknowledged late in life after trying to squeeze myself into boxes that didn't fit. It's why I'm here now.
SAMANTHA
FALCONER
PSYCHOSEXUAL AND RELATIONSHIP THERAPIST,
CLINICAL SEXOLOGIST
SPECIALISMS
I have training and experience with a number of issues related to sex, intimacy and identity. If you don't see what you need, please ask, and if I can't help I may well know someone who can.
FOR COUPLES
Affairs, Mismatched Desire, Communication Issues, Support Through Separation
I can help when communication or intimacy has broken down, faciliate work towards reconciliation after affairs, or mediate some tougher conversations. I may suggest seeing both of you individually to understand the issues better, or so you can have a good old cathartic confidential vent.
Polyamory, Ethical Non-Monogamy, Open Relationships, Swinging
Whether you're considering opening your relationship or already have, or are living as poly or ENM, we can work through the pleasures, pains and pitfalls, with, above all, mutual agreement, establishment of boundaries, and consent.
For more information on how I work with couples, see APPROACH in ABOUT ME below.
FOR INDIVIDUALS
Painful Sex, Vaginismus, Vulvodynia, Genito Pelvic Pain Disorder (GPPD)
Whether or not you have a diagnosis yet, I'll help you figure out what's going on, guide you to get to know your body better, but, most importantly, be there for you to be vulnerable and heard.
Low or Changed Libido, Mismatched Desire and Orgasm Issues
Together we can work on what makes you tick, help discover or rediscover your suppressed or lost sexuality, or validate your low libido or asexuality. There is no pressure here to be anything you're not.
Kinks and Fetishes
Perhaps you're in distress, feeling confusion, shame, or fear of discovery, or want to tell a partner. We can dig into what's going on in a judgement-free space, and move towards self-knowledge, shame reduction and inner peace.
Menopause: Physical and Emotional Changes
With huge hormonal changes creating a plethora of symptoms, we can feel as if we don't recognise our body, sexuality or mind any more. I'm here to to talk through your emotions and practical options. I've been through it myself so know just how hard it can be.
Erectile Disorder, Premature or Delayed Ejaculation, Performance Anxiety
Whether your issue is physical, psychological, a mix of both, or you don't even know yet, I'll try and help you work out what your body is doing and why, calmly, caringly and curiously. You're safe with me.
Compulsive Sexual Behaviours, Problematic Porn Usage (Addiction), Hypersexuality
If you think you have a problem here, we can work out if so and why, and towards a place of less distress and shame, and help you curb any problematic behaviour or practises, if necessary.
Rediscovering Sexuality After Trauma or Illness
Trauma from an event or experience, an abusive relationship, sexual assault, or a life-changing illness, can affect identity, sexuality, drive, relationships and our relationships with our body, but there can be a way back.
Identity Around Sexuality, Asexuality or Gender
Maybe you're trying to work out who you are, who you're attracted to, or not attracted to anyone. It would be understandable if you were feeling scared in the current climate. We can explore and validate the authentic you in a safe space. I am anti-conversion therapy of any kind. Ask me anything.
KINDLY NOTE
Psychosexual and relationship therapy is a specialised form of talking therapy and does does not involve touch of any kind, which is specifically prohibited by COSRT's Code of Ethics.
PRICES
INDIVIDUAL
Online:
£80 per session
£450 block of six
In Person:
£90 per session
£510 block of six
COUPLE
Online:
£110 per session
£630 block of six
In Person:
£120 per session
£690 block of six
LOW COST THERAPY
Online Only:
From £65 per session
These limited slots are reserved for low-waged clients, and clients from marginalised communities.
SAMANTHA FALCONER
ABOUT ME
After many years working in the media, I set out to become a sex therapist in 2021 after being unable to find a therapist experienced with “non-normative” relationships. It felt there was little room to explore the possibility that maybe some people aren't broken or avoidant, we just aren't naturally monogamous
I trained at The Contemporary Institute of Clinical Sexology (CICS), the UK's most prestigious psychosexual training school and am registered with College of Sex and Relationship Therapists (COSRT) and abide by their code of ethics and standards.
I take a great interest in shame. So much of the work I do is rooted in shame, I witness the damage done by its use as a weapon of social control, slut shaming for example, or transgressing the "rules" of masculinity.
APPROACH
I am trained in - and passionate about - the pluralistic (aka integrative) approach which sees clients as unique inidividuals with varying therapeutic needs and different ways of working.
My approach can be direct and directional, but always with curiosity and care.
With couples I favour the Gottman theories which are factually rooted in years of research of successful relationships; Imago for changing poor communication; and Terry Real. Like him I am not afraid of calling out problematic behaviours, but at the same time asking where in childhood they may be coming from. As Terry Real says, "It's the patterns that are the problem, not the people."
Being non-monogamous, I bring a different perspective to working with monogamous couples. I respect every client's personal values, but I don't over romanticise relationships. I've helped couples get stronger after affairs, and to reach the tough decision to split.
ACTIVE INCLUSIVITY
I've found my approach can work well with my clients who are neurodivergent (diagnosed, self-diagnosed or suspected). I work with them collaboratively, factoring in any previous poor experiences in therapy, or issues such as Relationship Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD).
I work hard to provide a safe and informed space for Global Majority, LGBTQIA+, sex worker clients, and anyone with non-normative relationship styles.
I adhere to GSRD Therapy ethics ("gender, sex and relationship diversity") which was coined by Pink Therapy to highlight the needs of certain specific clients to have a therapist who is committed to social justice, is trauma informed and culturally competent but with humility. You are welcome to ask me whatever you need to know to feel reassured.
TIMESCALE
This work can take six weeks to six months or more, usually it's somewhere in between.
However, the nature of this goal-focussed specialised work means that I don’t do long-term work unless the presentation requires it. My greatest satisfaction as a therapist is sending clients onwards on the rest of their journey, as one client put it, “I can take the wheel from here”.
CERTIFICATIONS & INSURANCE
- Level 7 Diploma in Psychosexual and Relationship Therapy from The Contemporary Institute of Clinical Sexology (CICS)
- College of Sex and Relationship Therapists (COSRT) registered
- Levels 2 & 3 Counselling Skills. Awarding body CPCAB
- Level 1 EFT aka Emotional Freedom Techniques (The Energy Therapy Centre)
- Trauma informed
- ADHD and autism informed
- Advanced DBS; insured with Holistic Insurance
WHY "ROOKERY" THERAPY
I'm a bit of a birdwatcher and I particularly love watching rooks build their rookeries. They are haphazard, precarious and chaotic, a raucous locus of mating and breeding. But also an emblem of determination against a sometimes unfriendly world, and a place of
gathering, safety and nurture.
At Rookery Therapy you'll find support amid the chaos.
GET IN TOUCH
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Contact me confidentially.
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You can book a free 20 minute "meet and greet" on Zoom or phone or...
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Book an initial assessment appointment or block.
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There will be some paperwork to complete in due course for confidentiality and safety.
LOCATIONS
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East London Therapy, 185a Hoe Street, Walthamstow E17 3AP
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Cherry Tree Therapy, Station Parade, Buckhurst Hill IG9 6EU
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Online
Please note, this is not an emergency service. If you are in crisis and need immediate help, you should contact The Samaritans, call 999 or 111, or visit your local A&E.
